A road less travelled, disaster and road trip

I’m writing today from as Fenny calls it “Left Pondia”… Getting here was interesting on account that I lost my wallet, complete with cash, bank cards and Driving licence :-/

The realisation of the wallet missing happened about half way over the Atlantic, and while I do have the balls to ask them to turn the plane around – the 10+ hour flight was an endurance in itself. Firstly, walking to the gate I end up talking to our Captain, and yes… there was a lot of 777 talk. The take off was actually awesome, the smoothest climb to altitude I’ve ever experienced. This was of course after they were able to get the food services truck off the side of the aircraft – I’m not joking 🙂 For 30 minutes guys with tools, hi-viz and wrenches ran back and forth until eventually they did something I thought they should have done in the beginning – towed it back and out of the way. This added adventure left many too late to get connecting flights in Houston sadly. Onboard I was served many drinks by a hostess who appeared sadly to be suffering the onset of Parkinson’s Disease, either that or she was suffering from being a former contestant on dancing with stars as Michael J Fox’s partner. That said, I felt sorry for her, she was older, far more glamorous than the younger hostesses, yet if she had one single accident – her career would be over. After arriving in a rain soaked Houston (Texas… and it was raining!) I left the flight thinking that out pilots were first rate and that people wishing to travel with babies should really think about it, seriously!!

1. Do you have to actually fly with a baby?

2. Why aren’t your family flying to you at Christmas?

3. Just how much discomfort is this causing all the other 300 passengers?

If you have a problem with what I just wrote – I’ll be pleased to correct you at ANY level you like 😉 Back in Houston and I was once again joined by my jovial Captain as we joked about the food services truck and I mentioned the good news of losing my wallet.

Now, here is another nugget… TSA at Houston was very slow, especially compared with DC, but at least the chap was a regular comedian which helped considerably. However, on going back through security for my connecting flight – what a complete and utter disaster… You see, there is a limit to just how much security there is versus  how much security becomes detrimental to safety itself – if lets say; so many hundreds of people are queuing up that the place deadlocked… then isn’t it better for a terrorist just to detonate themselves there and then? What I witnessed was an extremity of a  failed ad-hoc system and the showing off to the world just how this great nation was now a victim and it’s frankly not a pretty sight.

An hour later and I’m awoken on the connecting turbo-prop plane, not by the English captain’s announcement, but by screaming women, serious turbulence and a guy wearing a Vietnam Veteran hat saying “we’re going in hot”!! I’d just like to add that this was the most surreal moment in my flying experience.

I’m sitting here now planning a road trip after watching the Simon Pegg & Nick Frost’s movie “Paul”… As for the wallet and bank cards.. Barclays are happy to NOT send me a replacement card to me here, they’ll only send it to my home address… I enquired to the fact I’m in another country without cash, and they said it’s alright VISA will send me some cash.. He put me through (apparently) but after 30 minutes of nothing… I hung up. Thankyou Barclay’s for being totally bloody useless… and yet – so, well, unhelpful.

So Roswell? White Sands? Route 66? Grand Canyon? Vegas? Memphis? – OR South Dakota, NYC and Chicago?…

You know what – you tell me…

PS I would have added an American flag here as Gabsatrucker said the UK had more Union Jacks up than Stars and Stripes in the US… well I’m here to say she is wrong.. very wrong – so wrong that I wondered if people knew where they were lol lol


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